your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
