does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
