there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize