It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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