dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
