i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize