is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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