Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
