Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
