did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
