I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
