Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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