Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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