you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
