I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
