walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
