Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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