K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Green mimosas i think yes
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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