I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize