Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
