it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
