We won't sleep together?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
