i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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