At least make sure they are 18
Why
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
