forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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