it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
