If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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