Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
