The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
