it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
