Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
