u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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