your thong is hanging out like whoa
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
