I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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