Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
