you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize