Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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