I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
