i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
