I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
