My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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