Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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