I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
