We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
