It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
