I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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