ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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