Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
