i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
