In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
