i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
