Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
