She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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