Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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