My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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