yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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