so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
