I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
