Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
