I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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