He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
