they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
