He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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